Sister Wives star Kody Brown gets a bad rap sometimes, but he has a softer side – Kody can be a very romantic person – in fact, in the show’s recent Tell-All sneak peek, he admitted that his feelings for Robyn were so intense that they took him by surprise, and that confession made it seem like he was playing a little violin again. Yes, Kody has occasionally indulged in self-pity, but who hasn’t? The point is that he may be using a sob story about his great love to influence others.

If so, his statements could be more about shaping a narrative than telling an important truth about his life. However, he could be opening up in a way that’s truly honest. If so, that’s admirable. Kody’s well aware of the devastation that preferring one wife (Robyn) brought. He has lost so much, and he really believes that his love, which he couldn’t control, destroyed his family.

Maybe Kody Never Loved The Other Wives

Kody may have thought that he loved his now-exes, Meri, Janelle and Christine Brown, but maybe he didn’t know what the real thing felt like. The feelings he had for the other didn’t compare with how he felt about Robyn. As soon as he started courting her, it seemed like he was walking on air. This was love, with all of its intoxicating euphoria! Kody began acting so different – suddenly, he was living for Robyn alone. It may have seemed like a crush at first (something intense that isn’t destined to last), but it was so much more.

It’s quite possible Kody has never felt that about anybody else in his life. In another world, this would be a best-case scenario… chemistry so powerful it just takes over, binding two people together. However, there was a real problem here, and that was the fact that three other wives also wanted a husband.

It was terrible luck that Kody was in this situation – disentangling himself would not be easy. He had too much responsibility as a husband of three (and then four, when he married Robyn). All of his children by those mothers were also a factor, holding him back from really living out what was in his heart. To extricate himself, when he was the beating heart of the family, powering the body as the “man of the house,” would require the most delicate surgery. Unfortunately, his hands weren’t deft enough to perform that operation without serious complications.

Kody Probably Felt Sad A Lot

He Just Couldn’t Win

Sister Wives: Janelle Wants to Stay Separated From Kody

He waited too long, perhaps. Above, see Janelle reaching her breaking point – all the ex-wives did that. Kody probably had the best intentions – he felt he should stay with the women he didn’t love. That doesn’t make him a villain. They should have let him go.

Everyone who was a spouse in that marriage is an adult, and all must bear responsibility for turning away from the truth. To villainize Kody and paint the now-exes as angels isn’t fair, either. They knew what was happening, and perhaps a desire for financial security led them to make unromantic choices. Feelings were real, but there were other concerns. The situation was a powder keg.

In a situation like this, the practical is at war with the romantic, and when the plural marriage went on and on, it was probably because practical needs won out. However, what’s inside a person (the emotions that drive them) can’t be suppressed – feelings always comes out somehow. So, there were fights, there was Robyn’s passive-aggression, there was a general atmosphere of misery, all founded on operating under the illusion that things were normal, when everyone knew it was more or less a charade.

Emotions need space to be expressed – a safe space to be felt and understood. Robyn’s were, as Kody loved her. But the other women had to go it alone emotionally. Kody had to live with the guilt of being the man who denied them, but on the other hand, he probably wondered why they couldn’t just leave. Why did he have to initiate it? In fact, he waited, trying to get them to take the step he wouldn’t take.

Eventually, they did, but again, it all went on for much too long, and those bad memories cast very dark shadows. Hopefully, all parties are mature enough to rise above all of this turmoil. They should be.